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HomeKidsMoon Over My Nanny Pt. 3

Moon Over My Nanny Pt. 3

According to Police reports, the Nanny reported to have yelled at the seven-year old girls 

in the Memorial Park bathroom as described in our first story, has been identified. Sources say the family that employed her has fired her.

A lawyer for the family that employed the Nanny contacted theLoop and requested we remove the photograph of the young child in a photograph with that Nanny in a subsequent report.  Although not legally required to do so, we did.  

An e-mail was then sent to the lawyer to facilitate a friendly meeting between Pam Sullivan, the mother who witnessed the incident, her husband J. Mark Lane, and the family employing the Nanny. That request was declined by their attorney,

Camille Joseph Kassar, of a firm in Chatham, New Jersey.

Sullivan says , “My primary motive in writing my story was to relate what happened in the hope that the family would learn of the incident and deal with their nanny.  Secondarily, I hoped that other mothers who employ caregivers would also take heed and make an effort to investigate how their caregivers behave when they think no one is watching.”

If you get our Friday Loop Scoops , we wrote this on 8/14:

  • who cares for our children? 
  • is there underlying racism or elitism among some of us?
  • are we litigation happy?
  • when both parents work, why are they often criticized?
  • when should town employees intervene?

an incident a local mother was never meant to witness becomes
a passion play in the ‘burbs.


we still think it’s an important conversation.

note: comments are extensive for these posts: 

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concerned mama
concerned mama
August 25, 2009 12:44 PM

Just wondering if there are any updates to this story…

working mom w/loving nanny
working mom w/loving nanny
August 21, 2009 3:04 PM

At the end of the day, can we ask ourselves what was accomplished by making a personal matter between 2 families public? Did it just serve to erode race and class relations among us? Did we make parents distrustful of all caregivers and conversely make caregivers afraid to speak to parents? We stirred up resentment between working moms versus non-working moms. We live in a small village. It would not have taken Detective Columbo to find the identity of the family that employed the nanny in question. Did we need to post her image as well as the child’s on the Internet? Couldn’t this all have been dealt with privately?

Just yesterday, a little boy hit my son repeatedly at Memorial Park while his mother talked aimlessly on the phone. Previously, my nanny would have pointed it out to the mother, but in this new world, she just took my son and left the park. She said, “I did not want to end up arrested or on the Internet.” Is this not a sad state of affairs we’ve created?

editrix: Thank you for your thoughtful comments. Please understand that our editorial policy, and that of most well-regarded media, dictates that a suspected crime involving children is worthy of and necessary to report.
This failed to be a “personal matter” when a crime was alleged.

Any “eros(ion) of class relations”, if any, can be found in comments from readers. Our role here was to report an incident that perhaps, had it happened to you, might have caused you to feel endangered, to call the police, and try and rectify.

August 17, 2009 7:59 PM

I think this is a good opportunity for everyone to take a step back and think about the fact that there are two sides to this situation. This is by no means condoning what may very well have been an error in judgment by the nanny. However, I find the fact that the conversation has devolved into criticizing people who employ nannies as well as the nannies themselves is a problem. In many families, both parents do have to work and do not have access to family members to help pitch in, something what used to happen commonly, but now with a more mobile society, does not. In addition some moms who don’t work outside the home, but who have several children do need assistance, once again that help may have been provided in previous decades by extended family. I think where the conversation can begin is with a discussion about increasing the standards/credentials and quality of the providers we hire for our children–that there should be more stringent requirements, licensing, etc. Most studies indicate that the most important factor is quality of day care not whether or not there is day care.

Suzanne Wong
Suzanne Wong
August 17, 2009 4:02 PM


Lets stop the Working Mother vs Non Working Mother.
Lets stop the I have a Nanny vs I don’t have a Nanny.

Looks like people are deviating from the main purpose of the article. I don’t care who has an au pair, nanny, babysitter and so forth. What I care about are the children. If I see something wrong, unjust or children being abused, I am the type of person that will do something about it, even if it causes me to get a tongue lashing from a non working mother, working mother, nanny, babysitter or au pair, etc………you get the point . Lets protect the children and stop attacking each other. We are all good parents who love our children and want whats best for them.

August 17, 2009 3:36 PM

Have any of the nannies involved in this incident lost their jobs? Is the nanny who forced the children to clean the floor still employed by the same family? If so, I find that stunning. I say that as a mother who has stayed home and had a part-time caregiver and as a mother who now works full-time out of necessity. I also think that the vitriol addressed to working parents and/or non-working parents who emply caregivers is unnecessary and non-productive. Any caregiver who would behave as these nannies did should not be trusted to take care of children. There are plenty of caregivers who would never engage in this type of behavior.

August 17, 2009 9:12 AM

Of course my wife and I do all of those things….we just take our kids with us while we are doing them. This make come as a shock to you, but it is possible for both parents to work, have children and not have a nanny.

editrix: if i may interject here..carl…we respect your choices but i am not sure it is relevant to the conversation. the events are alleged to have occurred. let’s focus on that instead of whether it’s a crime to have nanny in the first place, which many people, myself included, either do or did.

August 17, 2009 12:08 PM

I’m not suggesting there is anything wrong with having a nanny. My point is that if you choose to let someone else watch your children, you get what you get. Choosing to relinquish control is just that….a choice, which may or may not have consequences.

where she was
where she was
August 17, 2009 7:24 AM

i am guessing since the mom works part time and the nanny probably doesn’t drive, she ran to the grocery store, the drug store, the bank, the post office, the dry cleaner, got school forms to the doctor and put gas in the car. i guess you never have to do any of these things, carl.

August 17, 2009 7:05 AM

Looks like I struck a nerve. Was your wife actually working that day? I understand your position as my wife works as well. However, when she OR I had the day off, we were with our children.

August 16, 2009 10:58 PM


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