If I were sitting at this computer in 1985, there might be two large frozen orange juice cans on my head, my hair wrapped around and around them, creating a look half Desperate Housewife, half Minnie Mouse. In the morning, it would unfurl, still damp and thick, and remain straight and smooth for approximately 20 minutes. Or less, with any degree of humidity.

Through the years, thousands of hours and thousands of dollars were spent not just by me, but by literally each of millions of women and girls throughout the world desperate for straight hair: curling irons, rollers, gels, cream rinses, flat irons, straighteners, blow outs, severe cuts, thinning scissors, hats, scarves, rubber bands. Our hair defined us and our schedules. Swimming? Out of the question within 12 hours of a date. Rain? Just cancel.

For me, a career on TV once demanded Japanese straightenings (turning one’s hair into the texture of a Madame Alexander doll)  and weekly hour-long blowdrys.

But that was then.

No one has done more for the art, science and celebration of curly hair than Lorraine Massey, co-founder of Devachan. The (mostly) curly-girls-only salon in Soho has become such a mecca for those desperate to unleash their locks, a second salon opened around the corner and, thankfully, a third in White Plains, the domain of Lorraine’s partner, Denis DaSilva.

Their curly hair care products and special dry cuts have literally transformed the industry. No more shampoo. No more hair brushes.

Lorraine Massey is now coming to Larchmont…to sign her new book, Curly Girl, the Handbook at Pink on Palmer, Thursday, April 28 from 6-8 pm. This Bible calls on all curls to “surrender your blow-fryers, flat irons, detergent-filled shampoos, weaves, and other weapons of mass hair destruction and work with your curls instead of against them. Free your hair, and the rest will follow!”

Rumor has it, Lorraine sometimes grabs a guest and starts cutting. Just leave the orange juice cans at home.